Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Does your significant other copy you?

This isn't about you and S.O. getting together and writing a combined-talents FUN novel just for FUN and act all SHOCKED when it actually is FUN for the REST of the WORLD when you PUBLISH and you make MILLIONS!!!

[the caps are a side effect of being up all night with the dog who has a neurosis about thunderstorms and sat shaking and trembling on my head while I tried to get my very necessary beauty sleep]

If I weren't one of those writers who always flunked at those English class projects where you have to write a group composition (boring, annoying, you could write faster on your own and soandso is trying to do just that while electing herself the supreme leader of the group comp because she's dissing all of your ideas and enacting all of hers and you'd probably do the same thing if you were half as pushy), I'd probably see the FUN in all of that and talk the S.O. into joining me in writing a truly ludicrous Clue fan fiction novel (or something).


That's not what I'm talking about. I know a few people who do group projects and they seem to be well-adjusted people who thoroughly enjoy the writing process together as opposed to creeping into a secluded corner of existence to write solo.

What I'm talking about is something I noticed here and there... I know at least two lady writers whose hubbies are getting into the writer act too. As in, the female writers started their act first, joined writing clubs, and then suddenly their hubbies are right there too with their own writing projects and talking about publishing even though they are possibly 10-20 years behind their wives who have been working steadily at the craft all along. Or worse, they are thinking about publishing picture books, because they assume nothing can be easier, etc...

So... does your S.O. do this too? Is it something you encouraged them to do because it gives you an instant writing buddy and it could be a bonding thing too (like couples who go horseback riding together <- another thing that weirds me out sometimes, I must admit). Or did they just start doing it all of a sudden because you inspired them and/or they caught the writing bug?

Personally speaking... I'd be bothered if my S.O. started writing all of a sudden. It's weird too, because all of my siblings write or otherwise tell stories (drawing, telling, or writing) and I absolutely loved all of that. I think maybe the difference was that we all started writing at the same point because we had that need to create (it must be the artist genes from my one father's uncle's cousin who was into painting and photography). I knew it wasn't my brothers and sisters playing copycat. We competed with each other, but that's a natural whatever thing in big families. :)

I guess my thing is I don't want my bf to be competing with me. And that's what it would start to feel like if he joined up with my writing group and started enlisting crits from my betas and so forth. It would really bug me.


I know that is probably a really selfish take, especially when you consider how much we depend on these people who offer support and raw feedback (the waking up at 2AM and babbling about SECRET NOVEL STUFF THAT I DONT WANT ANYONE ELSE TO KNOW ABOUT). If the person I'm babbling about MYWRITINGLIFE to 24/7 infinity suddenly gets the writing vibe, I'd have to return the favor and be supportive right back.

But... I really hope that never happens.


  1. Thankfully, my hubby has NO DESIRE to become a writer. I like it that way. :-)

    Fun post!

  2. Whenever someone close to me suddenly expresses a desire in writing, I admit that I feel a little threatened. I've got two close friends who have said that they want to write (long after I had been writing). Both cases made me uncomfortable--the first because the friend had sort of turned it into a competition (i.e. that she could be pubbed before me), and the other because she was so naive about the process (thought it was incredibly easy). Since then, we've drifted apart--in part because of other issues, but in part because we certainly viewed writing differently, and writing is hugely important to me.

  3. I am *so* glad it isn't just me who feels that way...

    I mean, I can understand why some writers might enjoy the companionship in writing. For example, the relationship between Jim Butcher and his wife - two accomplished authors.

    I think what I'm really afraid of is not being able to give that Wonderful Personage the support he needs.


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